The Melancholy of Kyonko
by xX.ikasu-kun.Xx
Summary: What happens when Kyon turns into a girl? What will Haruhi do to get him back?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: um... this is my first story XDDD lol be nice plz!! reviews&comments r apprcieated

One day in the club room Kyon was playing checkers with Itsuki. It was very boring and Kyon thought that Yuki was lucky because she had a book to read so she wasn't caught playing a boring game with Itsuki who was psychic so he won all the time.

"Kyon why do you look so bored?" said Itsuki because Kyon looked bored.

"I don't know I was just thinking about Mikuru..." trailed off Kyon.

"What about her?" asked Itsuki.

"I wonder how it feels like to be a girl." said Kyon.

"Me too, but don't be one!" shouted Itsuki.

"Why not?" asked Kyon.

"Because then I wouldn't be able to do this." said Itsuki and he leaned over to plant a kiss on Kyon's lips. It felt really good and Kyon was just about to use tongue when...

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" screamed Haruhi as she burst through the door. "KYON!! ITSUKI!! WHAT!!"

"It's not what it looks like Haruhi!" said Kyon.

"He's tired of your fat ass bitch." said Itsuki.

"SHUT UP ITSUKI YOU FAGGOT!!" screamed Haruhi. "YUKI!! CAN YOU TURN KYON INTO A GIRL SO ITSUKI WON'T LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE'S GAY?"

Yuki nodded and muttered something... "Exlermius, feminus, kyonius!"

A bright light engulfed the rooma .

"Ugh... where am I." muttered Kyon. His chest felt very heavy... oh my god, he had boobs! "AHHHH HARUHI WHAT DID YOU DO!?" demanded Kyon.

"You're boobs are bigger than Mikuru's!" screamed Haruhi. "That's not fair, Kyonko!"

"...Kyonko?" asked Kyon, now dubbed Kyonko.

"Hahahaha Itsuki, now you can't kiss her because you don't like girls!" taunted Haruhi.

"You can't make her put her non-exsistant dick in your vagina either, ass-cunt." retorted Itsuki.

Haruhi suddenly realized the truth. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" she shouted. "Yuki!! Make Kyonko a boy again!!"

"I cannot do that." said Yuki.

"Why not you book-reading bitch!!" demanded Haruhi.

"Because I--" but she was cut off because suddenly an earthquake struck the room.


	2. Chapter 2

"KYONKO!! GRAB MY HAND!!" shouted Haruhi as the room fell into the earth.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Kyonko because she wasn't used to her boobs yet. Suddenly the room stopped shaking and they were in an underground cavern.

"What is this place?" asked Itsuki.

"It is a temple," said Yuki. "People come here to worship their dead ones."

Itsuki ran up to the building. "I'm sorry boy Kyon!!" he screamed. Haruhi joined him.

"Me too!! Yuki, why can't you make this better again?"

"Because the only way Kyonko can become a guy again is... true love's kiss."

"WHAT!?" said both Haruhi and Itsuki at the same time.

"I can't kiss a girl!" yucked out Haruhi.

"And I only kiss guys!" screamed Itsuki.

"It is the only way," said Yuki.

"Fine, all go first..." sighed Haruhi and she lower her lips towards Kyonko. "What... are you doing!?" she demanded but Haruhi grabbed her in for a kiss.

"EWWWW!" Kyonko screamed.

"It... it didn't work!" screamed Haruhi. "How is that possible!?"

"Kyonko still has guy genes," explained Yuki. "That means his sexuality as a guy is present."

"You can't tell me...THAT MY KYON IS GAY!!" sobbed Haruhi.

"Actually, I don't mind girl kisses," he said, eyes glancing towards Mikuru.

"Whatever, it's my turn." said Itsuki and grabbed Kyonko in for a passionate kiss.

"Ah..." said Kyonko after the kiss was over.

"That was disgusting..." muttered Itsuki. "But it's Kyon, so I guess it's okay."

"But... nothing's happening!!" screamed Kyonko.

Itsuki hung his head in disappointment. "Haha!" said Haruhi.

"Um... maybe I could try." said Mikuru and before Kyonko knew it his boobs were rubbing against her's.

"Well, that was nice..." said Kyonko after the kiss was over. "But nothing is still happening!"

Mikuru looked sad. "What are going to do?" she said.

Just then a shadow appeared. "I can help." it said.


	3. Chapter 3

Standing before them was a beautiful girl with long white hair as pale as snowflakes. Her eyes were as blue as ice, and she wore a splendid white gown she looked like mother winter only 4,000 times prettier.

Kyon got a nosebleed. This girl was hotter than Mikuru!!

"Who are you?" He asked.

"I am Naitika Orosu Kawaii." The girl says. "I am here because I am your true love." And she lent over and kissed Kyon.

"AHHH!!" screamed Kyon as he got a giant orgasm. "You are so hot!!"

And then a bright light engulfed the room and Kyon was back to a guy. "IT WORKED!!" He screamed. "THANK YOU I OWE YOU MY LIFE DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED."

"No." said Naitika.

Kyon was shocked. "Why... why not?" he asked.

"Because I love Itsuki," said Naitika.

Itsuki grinned. "I can become straight for you Naitika!!" he said and they made out.

Haruhi was glad and mad at the same time. "So Kyon it looks like you're 'true love' likes someone else!! Haha!!"

Kyon was very disappointed. "Go away Haruhi I don't need you anymore. My love is now only for Naitika."

Haruhi blew her tempter "Naitika you shall DIEEEE" she screamed and suddenly the whole place was transfered into the reverse world of Itsuki and a huge monster appeared and it started destroying everything.

"Oh no you made Haruhi mad!" screamed Itsuki as he transformed into a red blob to fight the monster.

"I'm... I'm sorry!" cried Naitika. "I just wanted to help..." and she started crying tears as clear as crystal.

Yuki stepped up. "Don't worry Naitika you are also an ESPer." she said.

"What do you mean?" said Naitika but she suddenly transformed into a beautiful shining red light like Itsuki. "Now I can help fight!!" she said but--

"AHHHHHH!" screamed Itsuki as he fell and crashed into the ground... almost. He landed into Naitika's arms. "Oh Naitika thank you!!" he yelled as he embraced Naitika for a big hug that's power was so strong it made the monster die. They were then on the normal world.

Naitika suddenly fainted from the drama. "Oh no hang on there Naitika!!" screamed Kyon. "She must be tired from all the fighting!"

"Naitika's my business Kyon" said Itsuki as he carried her to the hospital. There she got better and they were very happy for a long time.


End file.
